Saturday, October 08, 2005
To YOU: What do you exactly want? I have tried to guess, but I don't think I got the answer.
I'm seriously hurt so deeply when you raised your voice at me today. In a heartbeat, tears flowed down my cheeks. I don't know what this means. Just a single shout-at and I cry?! I'm not the girl I used to be anymore.
Eileen once told me, "I envy you so much. Because you are so strong."
Strong? I don't think so. Maybe that was in the past. I have fallen hard. This pain is too unbearable for me to be kept in my heart but who can I tell? Who can understand how I really feel? What's the point of telling you? You ain't serious when talking to me about such stuffs because you think this kind of communication is not necessary, but
I am and do.
Did you appreciate whatever I did for you? I prepared and serve lunch for the very first time in my life. I hurt my hand while I prepared food. I picked up cooking skills just for you. I lied to my mum just to be with you. I stopped clubbing because of you. I woke up at 7.30am almost everyday to wake you up. I know all these are not enough. And I should not think this way.
But did you appreciate all I did for the least bit?I did these because I think it is worth it. Don't betray my trust towards you. Don't let me down. Remember what you promised me. Up to now I still think that people who have a dick are all the suckers. Maybe you could change my perspective. Maybe you could be the extraordinary one.
I don't want to fall hard again. Please handle me with care for I am fragile.
I don't like it when you don't answer my calls. I don't like it when you give me excuses. I fucking don't like it when you lie.
Yes, I am possesive and sensitive. But it's because I care. If I didn't care do you think I would be so possesive? I am selfish, love is too.
GET WHAT MY MEANING? GET HOW I FEEL??
From, Yours Truly.